Eros can include sex, but sex does not necessarily include Eros in all cases. In Chapter 4, Lewis defines Eros as the state of “being in love” (91). Friendship includes the friends and places non-friends outside of their circle by definition.
Lewis identifies the primary potential downside of Friendship as its exclusionary nature. The Greeks, however, saw Friendship as essential, and his sympathies lie with their thinking. In modern times, Lewis believes that the role of Friendship has grown so small as to make the love almost trivial. Friendship is unique in The Four Loves in that it appears to be the most unnecessary and also the least like the love of God.
The next chapter examines the nature of Friendship. People who become too familiar with one another may begin to take each other for granted, resulting in rudeness, neglect, and resentment. One of the potential downsides of Affection involves relationships between family members. Affection, in Lewis’s view, can lead to an appreciation for people, or things, that might not flourish without its presence. But the fondness tends to have routine and safeness as its foundation, not anything implying a more intimate bond. Affection is what is felt for pets, by pet owners, and for acquaintances for whom one has some fondness. It does not require attraction or mutual points of view. Affection is described by Lewis as being rooted in warmth and familiarity. For instance, a breeze can be appreciated on a hot day, but the breeze itself has no inherent good in it.Īfter clarifying his semantic position, Lewis begins by examining the love known as Affection, or storge (31) in the original Greek. “Appreciative” love is a function of the lover’s admiration for a feeling of aesthetic or physical qualities. It is manifested in a gift that is freely given, with no expectation of return.
A Gift-love is independent and free of the expectation of reciprocity. However, Need-loves are exhausted once the need has been satisfied. It loves her because it needs her, and the need depends on the love. A Need-love is compared to an infant needing its mother. The talks received widespread criticism in conservative circles for what was, at the time, a frank discussion of sex and its implications.īefore beginning the discussion of the “loves” themselves, Lewis defines his terms and makes some distinctions between what are typically called “likes” versus “loves.” Clarity of language is paramount in The Four Loves, and the first categories are “Need-loves,” “Gift-loves,” and loves of “appreciation” (2).
The Four Loves is derived from a 1958 series of radio broadcasts by Lewis.
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